Get Your Elbows off the Table!

Good morning my readers,

Such a cozy rainy day , I am settled in with a hot cup of coffee, a cat snuggled up on my lap and of course more helpful information : )

I love to dine out, I love to dine in, I love to host friends over for dinner but what I can't stand is bad table manners. You do not have to be at a 5 star restaurant to pull out all the stops, it should just be part of your everyday  dining decorum. As my mom use to say " Tara if you do not make it habit and you act slovenly at home, when  you are out you will act the same way" so naturally I had to practice at home and a good habit takes 30 days to master and now I am a seasoned dining participant!

So here are a few friendly reminders when dining in or out:

• Sit up straight, do not hunch over your plate or the table
• Keep your elbows in and do not rest them on the table
• Spread your napkin over your lap when you are seated (large dinner napkins are half-folded and small napkins are opened full size)
• At the end of a meal, leave the napkin semi-folded to the right of your plate
• Do wait until all guests are served before you start eating
• Always start by using the silverware farthest from your plate and work your way in with each course

• Pass everything to the right
• Eat in small bites and slowly, no need to shovel the food in, and do not talk and chew

Here are some major DON'TS:

• DO NOT blow your nose in your napkin
• DO NOT reach in front of a person
• DO NOT help yourself from a dish first
• DO NOT blow on food to cool it or blow over your plate
• DO NOT crunch your crackers in your soup
• DO NOT leave your spoon in your coffee or tea, place it on the saucer next to the cup
• DO NOT stack your dishes
• DO NOT drink with food in your mouth

Now, I have to admit, occasionally I have strayed at home alone in front of the t.v watching a juicy movie while having a pig out session : ) but when hosting a dinner party, family gathering or dining out, these are the basic rules to follow. Happy dining and happy eating!

Tara

Tipping...No you don't do this to cows!

Hello my lovely mannerly readers!

I hope all the mothers had a wonderful Mother's Day! I was able to spend the day with both my maternal grandmother and my mother, we spent the day in the lovely town of Cape May, NJ taking in the sea air, the sounds of the waves and indulging in some food and window shopping.

We had dinner at a cute cafe and shared stories and laughter. My grandmother wanted to leave a tip, and naturally my father slipped me more money to leave on the table for our server : ) We are the customary 20% percent tippers and my grandmother is the depression era lady who will leave a nice tip and calculate it down to the penny.  Is she cheap? No, she just counts her pennies. But it got me thinking, " I wonder if people really know what a good tip is or what to tip" ..... so back home I went and came up with a little guideline.

Tipping Do's for Dining Out:

• Maitre d' - To secure a good table $5.
• Waiter/Waitress - 15-20% percent of the bill, I lean towards 20% and have been known to leave more if the waiter/waitress was exceptionally helpful and was able to make good recommendations. 
• Wine Steward - 10% of the wine bill.
• Coat Check - $1 per coat or item they are storing for you.
• Door Attendant - $1-2 for a taxi.
• Parking Valet - $1-2 per use, if you have a deluxe vehicle and want it parked out front, then $5.
• Bathroom Valet - $1.

I am NOT a math person and the idea of complex math makes me want to break out in hives! But here is a simple way to calculate the tip.....Chop the last number off the total on the bill and move the decimal point over one spot to the left...that will give you 10% percent of the bill. That is your starting point and from there you can figure the 15% or 20% percent. Simple! 

***Note, if you a large party dining, the establishment may automatically tack on a 15% percent grat on the bill***

Happy dining!

Tara

Business Attire Cheat Sheet

Hello my dear followers,

I have been absent and I apologize, so much going on! Vacation to San Fran, LOVED IT and a fun new chapter in my life has started...stay tuned for all the details : )

Recently,I have been observing some business attire and realized a Do's and Don'ts for men and women was very much needed.....so naturally I designed one.


Business Attire Do's & Don'ts MEN :

• DO wear you suit jacket when you conduct business outside the office, go to events and meet new clients. 
• DO make sure your shoes are polished and have good soles.
• DO wear a belt that matches your dress shoes, if your pants have loops then you wear a belt. 
• DO keep hair and nails neat and clean. Men you do need haircuts often to look polished and biting your nails and leaving them ragged is a no-no. Even if you work with your hands, please keep them neat. 
• DO wear appropriate jewelry, a watch and a wedding ring is sufficient. 
• DO NOT overpower your appearance with heavy cologne. 
• DO NOT wear short-sleeved shirts under your suit coat, showing a clean cuff is a must. 
• DO NOT wear a dark undershirt under your dress shirt, only white, no exceptions.  
• DO NOT wear ankle socks or light colored socks with a dark suite. 

Business Attire Do's & Don'ts for WOMEN:

• DO wear comfortable shoes ( no stilettos), a nice pump that is polished and has good soles and hosiery (nude or black) no textured or outlandish tights. 
• DO wear natural makeup.
• DO wear appropriate jewelry...diamond studs, a necklace, wedding band or engagement ring and a watch, nothing too over the top or trendy. 
• Do keep hair and nails neat and clean, trim off dead ends and keep nails short and painted either a light pink or neutral color, no red daggers!
• DO NOT overpower your appearance with too much perfume. 
• DO NOT wear elaborate hairstyles. 
• DO NOT wear jeans or casual slacks or mini skirts.

** note these do's and don'ts can change depending on the industry that you work in , for example, if you work in fashion, your outfit may be more expressive, but these tips are the basics and will keep you looking smart and neat**

Every man and woman should invest in one nice suit and shoes to match. Thankfully we have stores that cater to every budget. Make sure your clothes fit you well and sales people are there to help with measurements and invest in a good tailor. Sometimes the first impression is the only impression, so put your best foot forward!

Cheers!

Let me introduce myself......

Dear readers, 


Have you ever been at a party or event or any social setting in which you had to make introductions and completely forgot the rules to do so? I will let you in on a dirty little secret....I have! Many people fail at making introductions by simply not making them. 


It really is not hard to make introductions, I am enclosing my cheat sheet for you:

• Younger, lower- ranking individuals as well as men should be presented to older, higher-ranking individuals and to women first by saying the latter persons name. Ex. "Mr. Davis, I'd like to introduce you to my brother James" , "Mr. Walton, I'd like to introduce you to Ms. Pierson my administrative assistant", "Emily, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Henry".
• In casual non formal settings, use a persons full name when introducing. Ex." Emily, this is William Joseph. William this is Emily Adams", and in formal settings (VIP events, galas, work parties, fundraisers, etc) use courtesy titles and last names when making introductions. Ex."Dr. Jones, I'd like to introduce you to my co-worker, Mary Smith".
• When introducing family members who share your last name, use only their first names when making introductions. Ex. " Please allow me to introduce my Husband, Jack, our children, Emma and John".

After introductions have been made, a simple " Pleasure to meet you" or "It's nice to meet you" will suffice. Don't call someone a nickname, for example if someone is introduced as Charles do not call them Charlie unless they prompt you to do so. Also, when shaking hands, have a firm handshake not a limp handshake nor an over exaggerated handshake. Up  and down three times it perfectly acceptable. 

All in all, just make the effort to recognize others with courtesy, it shows respect and if you sincerely forget a persons name, it is ok to ask them. 

Anyone can be polite to a king. It takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar

The World is a Stage, so Why Misbehave?

Hello followers,

It has been a while since my last post, the holidays and life took control as well as getting a new puppy! But, I am back and I am ready to post and write and talk about etiquette issues that I notice/d and answer questions or start a discussion based on what you observe/d.

I am having a lazy afternoon watching Metropolitan. I first saw this movie at the Ritz in Philadelphia when I was just a young girl. I highly recommend the film. Description .... (Writer-director Whit Stillman's witty comedy of manners (which won an Independent Spirit Award for Best First Feature) pokes gentle fun at a group of upper-class Manhattan preppies who gather regularly to play bridge and engage in intellectual discussion. Led by acerbic cynic Nick (Christopher Eigeman), the coterie adopts "proletariat" Tom Townsend (Edward Clements), who has reservations about his new socialite friends and what they represent.)

After watching this film and then reflecting on some of the behavior that I have noticed of people in their thirties, I complied a list of things that are just not acceptable after a certain age.We have strayed from sitting around with our contemporaries and having in depth conversations about ethics, art, literature or philosophy. I am seeing individuals in their thirties who are holding on so tightly to their twenties and the behavior of their twenties....and I am also viewing this behavior of people who are much older, there has been a shift and I wonder if it is because people are afraid of growing up and getting older?  Maybe I am too old school and I expect more? 

 So here is my bakers dozen...please add to the list!

1. Calling someone "dude"
2. Using the terms "sweet" or "nice" when asked for your opinion
3.  Not having a tidy or clean living space, that means clean toilets, sink and not dirty dishes left in the sink
4.  Profanity , yes we all use it but we do not need to overuse it, there are so many beautiful words in our language that we can use to express ourselves 
5. Bottles of empty booze as decoration 
6. Posters or stickers as decoration 
7.  Wearing teenagers clothes or shopping in those stores for you wardrobe 
8. Posting pics of you being "trashed" or talking about how trashed you were and to follow up on that, no keg stands
9. Not owning a proper overcoat, dress shoes or suit - this holds true for both men and women
10.  Body noises of any kind, excuse yourself if need be
11. Not having table manners
12. Gossip
13. Not having personal and professional career goals of any kind

As we enter the world from young sophomoric adults and evolve and emerge into adults with jobs , there are certain roles and responsibilities that come along with that. I am not saying we can not have fun or be silly or have a childlike nature, I am just saying that after a certain age, one must grow up and become a respectable, ethically sound,morally cognizant and responsible  contributor to society. 

Be well my dear friends, happy New Year and may all of our dreams come true!!!

Halloween Costumes in the Workplace

It is that creepy time of the year, filled with witches, ghosts and goblins.....and loads of CANDY!!!!

This is a wonderful article that I just had to share with you all about Halloween Etiquette and dressing up in costume at the workplace...what does your costume say about you? Are others going to have a different perception of you, do you want them to view you differently? Will your costume choice offend anyone?

I am off to make up some goodies for the kids who dare to trek down my dark spooky road !

!http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2809-Workplace-Issues-How-to-dress-up-for-Halloween-at-work-without-losing-your-credibility/?SiteId=cbmsnhp42809&sc_extcmp=JS_2809_home1&gt1=23000

Tara Anne

Money Money Money

Hi readers!

Sorry I have not been writing recently, so much has been going on! I recently had a terrific weekend with my boyfriend, his sister and his brother-in-law...hosting guests is as much fun as being a guest!


This past weekend I needed to take out some cash from the bank in the city...and I was waiting in line at a very busy ATM observing others getting cash and I noticed little things that I thought I needed to write about. Things I never took into consideration before, but since we all frequent the ATM I thought I should write about it : )

Consider this blog to be about proper manners and tips when at the ATM.

• Be Quick- This tip is really geared toward winter when your teeth are chattering and your hands are cold, get your card ready, know the amount you want to take out, and do not linger. The person behind you is just as cold and taking your good ol' time at the machine is not appreciated. In general if you are stopping at the ATM to withdrawal money it really is not the time to check balances on all your accounts or make numerous deposits. This is not the time to be a Vanderbilt and move money around : ) If you have multiple  transactions go into the bank when it is open . Plus going inside is fun, you might get a free pen or a lollipop (huge fans of the Dum Dum pops).
• Stand in a neat line - Why is it so difficult for people to form a neat and orderly line? Do not block crosswalks, pavements or doors. Passerby's will only get aggravated, let us be courteous to those all around us. 
• This is my dance space and that is your dance space - Give the person using the ATM room. If they can feel your breath on their neck you are way too close! Respect a persons privacy and space.
• Don't toss your statement - Take your receipt with you, or tear it up into little pieces and trash it, do not, I repeat DO NOT crumble it up and leave it on or next to the machine. You are making yourself vulnerable to identity thieves. 
• Don't flaunt or announce how much cash you took out. 
• Don' forget to take your card back and if you see another persons card in the machine, turn it into the bank.
• Put your cash away and then step away from the machine. 

It is simple little things that make life easy. Something as simple as taking money out of the ATM requires tact and mannerly conduct and makes for a civilized society.

And by the way, Happy Spending!!!

Tara


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